This year, Mama Geek turns three, and I will have been blogging in some form or another for about thirteen or fourteen years. Despite my evident ongoing love affair with blogging, 2014 was the first year I went to a blogging conference.
I am a shy person. I often find it hard to start up conversations, introduce myself to strangers, or have any clue what I am supposed to do in any social environment. School was one long social struggle for me, and university not a lot better. I’ve always had a few friends, but I’ve always been quite a lot of rungs down the popularity ladder.
Last year I watched online as the online friends I have gained through blogging chatted excitedly about the blogging conferences they attended, and I made a promise to myself that I would attend Britmums Live at the very least, and preferably Blog On too. Then, the Tots100 BlogCamp date was released and I signed myself up for a ticket to that too. From comfortably sitting at home, attending zero blog conferences per year, to getting out there and attending three in the space of a few months.
(BlogCamp)
At each conference, I was incredibly nervous. Before each one I was physically ill and felt terrified. Once there, I babbled nonsense or turned completely silent, and took refuge in checking my phone when I felt lonely in the massive crowds. I fretted that the familiar faces I returned to a few times were getting sick of me, when I sought them out in the crowds.
I loved the comforting hugs from people I only knew from their twitter handles and blog names. Bloggers that feel like friends who made me feel like they had genuinely been looking forward to seeing me. People I didn’t know before who knew who I was from my blog name were a constant surprise.
I hid in the toilets, seeking a quiet spot to take two minutes to just breathe.
(BlogOn MOSI)
I enjoyed chatting away while tucking into some tasty food, or laughing over a glass of wine. I sat on the floor and felt like I was welcome to take a moment to chill out and talk about something outside the world of my children and my husband. I was safe in the knowledge that these people were my peers and they understood what a big part of your life blogging can become.
A bad moment of having to explain my personal choice to not take sponsored posts or advertising on my blog, without insulting or implying that those who do are somehow compromising their voice.
(Britmums Live)
I cried and laughed through keynotes, speeches and sessions. I’ve come home each time with a notepad filled with useful tips that I know are going to make my blog better.
I know each one was ultimately a good experience, and I know I want to return next year to do it all again, but I’m still scared of going.
I’ve come home with this feeling of not knowing quite where to start.
I feel wrung out and overwhelmed all at the same time.
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